HGG Community Forums

Happy birthday. I hope that you can at least make a beginning tomorrow.

If there is someone with horse knowledge who can be there as you begin again, especially since it's been a long time. It might be helpful to have two people to assist you for a while. As a therapeutic riding instructor, I've had lots of experience helping fearful beginners overcome their nerves at first being on a horse. We always have a leader, of course, but there is also someone walking on the right side of the rider to "lock them in," by holding the front of the saddle and placing their forearm over the rider's thigh. This gives the confidence that someone is there to help keep them in the saddle.

I'm not sure if your gelding would be comfortable with this arrangement, though. Not every horse is. It's something to try. I would have him saddled and led with someone walking closely at his right side to test it.

Anyway, since you're dealing with a long-standing fear, don't hesitate to take as many baby steps as you need while regaining your confidence. Don't get discouraged if it takes a fairly long time. If you persist, it should get better.

Happy Birthday! I'm sorry you're having a rough time of things though.

If it makes you feel better, you're definitely not alone when it comes to issues with feeling confident in the saddle. I took a break from jumping and when I tried to come back to it eight years later, I was terrified of going over even little cross-rails.

I know a fear of jumping isn't quite the same as a fear of riding in general, but my best advice, to expand on the great advice Sandy already gave you, is to first off work with a trainer if you can. I don't know if something specific happened or if there's something about your horse in particular that is making you scared. Maybe working with a trainer with a patient, calm school horse could help? Or even just a trainer who can help address any issues with your horse if that's what's causing your fear. I was very lucky that my trainer is so patient with me and understanding. She helped me find a horse I could take lessons on who was a lot more easy going (and more of a "push ride" instead of a "pull ride" like my original mare) so I could work on building my confidence on him. It made a huge difference - I started showing four months later, and this year I bought a new horse that I never would have been confident enough to ride back then. (I still have my original mare too - but now she is semi-retired and we don't have to worry about jumping anyway.)

Another recommendation is to do whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable, and use whatever tools and protective wear will help. I always recommend riding with a helmet anyway, but especially if you are nervous, it's a good idea to wear one so you can feel safer and more protected. They also make protective vests so that if you fall, you have some padding. If you're worried about your horse being too excitable or having too much energy, maybe just focus on doing some groundwork and longing. Longing before you ride him could help blow off some steam - for both of you even.

Small steps are fine. If today all you want to do is brush him, that's all you have to do. If you just want to get on and then get back off, that's fine too. It's not a race, and more important to always end on a good note and keep building your confidence instead of pushing yourself too fast too soon and knocking it back down. Eventually you might want to push yourself a little out of your comfort zone here and there, but don't take too big of a step that it's going to shake you off course.

I don't know if you're on Facebook or not, but there's a group called Riding Fear Free that is a great support network. It's also founded on principles from a book with the same name that you can buy on Amazon I believe.

Happy (almost) birthday! :D I hope tomorrow brings a lot of joy with family and friends.

Any kind of accident can be quite traumatic and often leaves the person filled with negative energy, thoughts, or feelings. Horses are sensitive creatures and they can detect that. I completely agree with baby-steps and taking precautions by having assistance with a more confident, knowledgeable instructor.

Labor Day may seem far away but don't rush! I'm sure you will make a decision based on good judgement come that time. However, if you want to show that badly, why not try the in-hand classes? I'm not sure what type of show you are interested in going to, yet the majority of the shows I've gone to have a basic halter, showmanship, English, Western, discipline rail, and pattern classes. In-hand will give you and your gelding the positive experience you need to build confidence in each other - assuming you are confident in-hand with him around strange horses/people.

Thanks everyone. Sky is one of the horses that the boys show in 4h.

Happy birthday!! :D