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SpryOfJune · Jan 3, 2019 5:58 PM

So... as some of you may know, I'm Polyamorous. In some sense, it's not much different than 1 person (to me), I'm with 3 people right now (they're all friends with each other, which is good), and I'm keeping it at 3 or less. Two of them are in other countries, so it's harder to talk to them all the time, but one them is a few states away, and she's coming on the 17th of January for us to have an official first date. We're going to the mall for lunch and walking around, and then we're gonna go somewhere else for dinner. Thing is... I've never been on a date before... And I really like her, so my mind is like, "This is sooo gonna fail, I bet!" I'm rather nervous, and freaking out. She's told me not to freak out, and what not, but it's hard. I want this to work, but what if it doesn't? I'm literally scared. She's coming from 6 hours away, and says if it goes well, there'll be more in the future... But... it might not. But I want it to. I don't know what I'm doing, or anything... heeeelllppp meeee!

Thanks for listening. :-S :-SS #-o

MakeMeABird · Jan 3, 2019 7:05 PM

Sometimes the best dates are the ones that fail.
My best date was one when I was 17ish. My boyfriend truck broke at the farm. We where on our way to a cookout , had to feed really quite. We had a blast watching the stars on the hay that night. Just talked all night. Heck ill never forget that night.
Believe it or not she may not care anything about what you do, then just being with you.
Relax and enjoy the moment you have now. Don't worry about tomorrow or the what if. Today has enough in its own.

SpryOfJune · Jan 3, 2019 8:12 PM

@MakeMeABird
That makes sense, yes.
And thank you. I'll try to not worry as much, it's just hard, especially with the anxiety I always have. I'm hoping my mind eases by the time the date is planned, so I'm not too muchof a wreck. Lol

Goobanni · Jan 3, 2019 8:28 PM

I met my husband on a Facebook game lol :))
We both lived in other states and when we first met I was sick with anxiety. It quickly went away after we got talking.
I think when you have talked with someone for so long online and you finally meet, it doesn’t take long for you to feel like you have been in each others lives forever.
I think you just have to tell yourself, if it doesn’t work out, at least I have made a really good friend...but you never know ;)
The anxiety is always going to be in the back of your mind, it’s will be happening on both sides

PrismEquine · Jan 3, 2019 8:40 PM

Being poly is hard enough, don’t stress! The beauty of it is that sometimes your best paramours are just your best friends. Be yourself, I’m sure she will love you! If she’s coming 6 hours for a date, she probably already does :)

Also: I too, am poly. Well, I was for years. Hubby and I are currently monogamous. We are also D/s

SpryOfJune · Jan 3, 2019 9:15 PM

@Goobani
Lol! I met both of my partners through my first gf. But now I think she and I are breaking up, and my newer gf is wanting to go on a date, so I have all of this I'm thinking about. So, it's hard. But thank you.

@PrismEquine
She told me yesterday, "You know, we've talked enough that I can tell that could really fall deeply for you." She told me the other day that she literally might cry when she has to go home. It's gonna be sad, for sure, but in all this, I do hope it works better than my mind is telling me.
It's nice to meet other poly people. It all works, as long as you're happy.

ColorGoodStables · Jan 5, 2019 5:53 PM

This is so exciting!
I bet it goes well. Meeting new people for the first time is always nerve racking but I think if you are able to break the I've early and just be yourselves itll go really well. Maybe talk about your individual expectations before she arrives? That way you dont burn yourself out by constantly wondering what they expect. Open communication has always helped me.
Also I wasnt aware that there were any other poly members on the game! I live in a very very rural town so I've never had much opportunity to explore it more.

SpryOfJune · Jan 5, 2019 5:59 PM

@ColorGoodStables
That's a good idea, yeah!
Honestly, I just broke up with my first gf, and it's been really hard, seeing as she cussed me out multiple times and said some horrible things to me, but the gf in this topic has been helping me so much through this, I can't thank her enough.
Me, either! No one outside of the internet knows I'm poly, so it's hard for me.

levesel2 · Jan 6, 2019 3:31 PM

Best of luck on your meeting Spry!

@Goobanni, that’s how I met my husband too

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