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EasternShowBarn · Nov 27, 2018 9:26 PM

Before I begin, I just want to apologize about ranting to you guys I just needed somewhere to rant and someone to rant to... I’m not quite sure where to start so I guess the beginning is probably a logical place.

In my elementary years of school (kindergarten through 6th grade) I always brought stuffed animals to school and never really thought anything about it until now. When I was in 5th grade, (I’m in 11th now) I brought a bunch (like four) stuffed horses to school, mind you they were small but not teeny tiny. Well that day we had a bomb threat to our school so the entire school had to go to the high school gymnasium and I was a stupid kid who always had her stuffed animals so I brought them to the gymnasium along with me. Now that I think about this moment, I can not believe how childish I was in my elementary years and how this is how I think people now think of me.

Jump to 7th grade. We have 8 class periods, 1-3 are all an hour long, 4-6 are half an hour each(this is when our lunch periods are) and 7-8 are an hour as well. Well one day I mixed up 7th and 8th period and I though that it was time to go home, but I was wrong. I went to the bus loop and realized that no busses were there so I went to the counselors office crying because I had missed the bus. I had not missed the bus, I had just mixed everything up... I walked into my 8th mod class, late. Note that this class had a group of 3-4 guys that were probably the people I disliked the most out of everyone in the school and the ones who would always pick on me and be rude to me. ( I honestly can’t remember if all the guys were mean I only distinctly remember two guys who were actively mean the other one or two just sat back and watched) I walk into that math class in tears because I messed up so bad that I just wanted to go home, and the guys said to me “where have you been? Have you been chasing unicorns and rainbows?” And I sat low in my chair refusing to talk to anyone for the rest of that hour out of pure embarrassment and not knowing what to do and I felt horrible awful thinking of how stupid I was.

Backing up a little bit to 5th grade until 9th grade. That block of 4 years, I didn’t do my homework much and when I did it was poorly done. My teachers didn’t like me much and pretty much gave up on trying to help me.

In (I think 8th grade) 8-9th grade we’re supposed to choose some classes that we would like to do, and me being a stupid kid, chose to take “easy” classes and 2-year classes so everything would be “easier” but little did I know that today I would be sitting in my bedroom crying about how I messed up my high school career so horribly. I have realized, to late, that I’m way smarter and so much more capable to do so many more things than I thought I could when I was just a stupid kid.

Last year changed everything. I was put in a required global history class. (it’s improtant now that I note that I sucked horribly at history for all my life, so much so that I had failed the 9th grade history final with a 53/100) This teacher, his way of teaching, his requirements, it all just clicked into my mind and somehow I was able to wrap my head around history for the first time in my life. I got through the first quarter in that class with a grade of a high 80. I was completely ecstatic! I finally understood something! The teacher must have known I could do better that I thought I could because he wasn’t one to compliment people. I need to share this story; We got questions to study for our state test and I had gotten 7 wrong on the first one we did, the second one I got only 4 wrong, he said that I did a good job and I should be proud of myself, I had a really bad day before that and was almost in tears anyway and I started crying. I really tried to hide it and I would have left class but I wanted to be there for the lesson. The very next class, he knew I cried before, he asked how I was doing, and I asked around and he had not said that to many other people before... We had a regents (a huge state test at the end of the school year) that I got a 90 on. Continuing my story; after the regents I asked to know my grade, he told me I got a 90 and said that hard work really paid off. I usually don’t cry tears of happiness but I did and it was probably the best feeling ever to know that I worked so hard to get that 90.

This year, I feel so behind on everything... I’m still in living environment that everyone in my grade (except for my class) had gone through years prior, I had just finished a two year algebra class the year prior, I just started my geometry class, I haven’t taken chemistry yet, everyone else has and I won’t unless I add it to my schedule for next year. I didn’t realize that I wanted to take the advance placement United States history class until after it was to late to get into it and now I am getting 70/100 on everything because I can’t learn with the teacher that teaches this. Even one of my friends who missed three months of school last year is in higher level classes than me and I feel so stupid and so behind and I don’t know what to do... I just want to start my entire school career all over again and do as much as I can because now I know I can do it... I didn’t know then and what I didn’t know then is pulling me behind now and making me feel stupid.

Completely unrelated to academics, in 9th grade, I liked a guy, for like two months. I messaged him and I said a crap ton of things that I regret saying, I regret liking him and saying anything to him for that sake that I embarrassed him and I feel so bad that I did it... I never meant to embarrass him and I really wish that I didn’t but I know I did. The next two years I held a grudge towards him (I never really talked to him much but 8th grade just made it so much worse) it was actually a hatred towards myself even though I told everyone I hated him. I never did. When I was trying to convince people I hated him, one of my friends admitted to me that she had feelings for me so we “dated” for about a month but it was never serious. When the guy asked one of other friends if I still liked him, said that I don’t date guys... I do like guys and in all honesty I don’t want to
date girls. I may just delete this paragraph but I’ll wait...

I am so sorry if you read all that I really just needed someone to rant to because I have nobody to rant any of this to... Thank you though... this game has been amazing to get my mind of some things and I thank you all so much for that, you all are truly amazing.

PattersonFarm · Nov 27, 2018 11:06 PM

Honestly reading the part about the stuffed horses... first of all, that was me! Haha Now that I’m a mom, I can only hope my child stays youthful and is still “Chasing unicorns and rainbows” well into her adult years even. Kids these days grow up super fast it seems! Don’t be so hard on yourself for the past embarrassing stuff. We have ALL done embarrassing stuff. It’s part of life. It’s part of living and learning. To this day there are some things I remember about middle school and high school that just make my stomach drop at how seriously embarrassing the stuff I did was. I was a moron. But all kids are in a way lol

I also want to share that I too, sucked at grade school. In highschool I had nothing but Fs. When I got out and matured a bit, I realized what I had done and I hated myself for it. It’s hard because hindsight is 20/20. But I also want you to know that I eventually graduated college with a bio medical degree and a 4.0 GPA. I didn’t let high school hold me back. There are ALWAYS doors to be opened that will help you recover from your struggles in life. Look for those doors. Be hopeful and don’t lose that ambition!

As far as dating— go with your heart! It’s hard right now to know the right choices, because of peer pressure, the highschool environment, simply wanting someone around without necessarily wanting more... and ontop of that you’re also at an age where you are still figuring out who you are. This is something you may not get down pat well into your twenties. And with that being said, humans are constantly evolving. It’s ok to expiriment. And it’s ok to be inept when it comes to what to say— I was there. Eventually I did meet the man of my dreams and I married him. But let me tell ya— he wasn’t the first lover of mine... NOPE. Or the second, third, fourth, etc. It took me a lot of time to find him. But eventually the soul mate thing did happen and I don’t even think about the people I shared that part of myself with in high school. Again, it’s part of evolving. We are all Pokémon and video game characters here. Lol! Always evolving and leveling up. There will be a lot of learning curves. Some will be embarrassing, some will be painful. But ALL will be useful. You can’t learn unless you make mistakes. You’re at an age where things get out of control— you feel like everything is falling apart some days. Then other days you feel like you’ve got this— then it dies down again. And that never ends. But coming from someone who’s been through it, much of life will eventually fall into place. But it will always be a journey!

Don’t get discouraged. I love that you have ambition and you’re willing to push yourself! Focus on that! Focus on what you can do NOW to pave the way to your goals. Whatever happened in the past, can’t be changed. Worrying about it won’t help you get to where you wanna go. If you wanna go somewhere, you’ll have to leave that heavy past stuff somewhere else so you can move forward and create a bright future. Again, learn from your mistakes and use those to your benefit for your future.

:) It’s human to need to vent. And I won’t ever judge someone for letting it out. It’s unhealthy to let it build up anyways :)

Lallyhop · Nov 27, 2018 11:28 PM

Haha, I can second the highschool grades! I was a straight A student when I moved from homeschool to highschool in 10th grade, and three short years later I was flunking my way out of senior year. I got bored and didn't do the homework >.>

And yes, many, many embarassing moments. It happens. It'a part of growing up (except they never stop, lol! Embarassment is just a part of life).

I went to community college, though, one that partners with a state college, and while I certainly didn't win any fancy scholarships, financial aid works just as well. I'm just a touch under 4.0 (so there was this one class...) and on track to transfer to BSU in the next couple of years. I'm taking it slower, having quickly realized a full time course load wasn't for me, and chipping away at that degree one bit at a time. :)

And I'm 23 and still single (mistakes were made there too, including fibs to get out of things and accidentally-on-purpose ignoring one guy for months cause I was too scared to tell him I wasn't feeling it anymore), so don't worry about that too much either. You've got years ahead of you, and if you don't settle til 30 (or later!) there's nothing wrong with that. Gotta have some fun and see the world, you know?

EasternShowBarn · Nov 27, 2018 11:38 PM

@PattersonFarm I’m glad I wasn’t the only one with stuffed animals, I mean I knew I wasn’t the only one but god it felt like it most the time.

I don’t really understand what people mean when they say that kids these days mature faster than they did before because all I know of is kids being less mature than a 10 year old...

As for the guy and dating, I did want to date him then with no intention other than having someone for a friend as I didn’t, and still don’t, have very many friends. As for dating, I don’t believe I’m mentally or physically ready to date anyone for that matter... I don’t even know what my heart is telling me about anyone currently but I know Is I’m telling myself to forget about that guy and my head is telling me to put forth much effort into my academics and the sports I’m participating in for the first time in the spring. My heart may be telling me either to hurry up and wait for this year to be over so I can get to next school year for classes I want to go to or it could be telling me other things about people I don’t want to think about.

EasternShowBarn · Nov 28, 2018 12:29 AM

@Lallyhop I’m pretty sure it was boredom then for me as well... now it’s ambition to better myself. I’m both excited and nervous for college because I know it’ll be so much different but Itll be so much different. Like I said to Patterson farms, I don’t believe that I’m mentally or physically ready to date.

Mittens · Nov 28, 2018 1:22 AM

OH this brought back memories. ALL of us have things we regret from school, and I definitely sympathize with you on realizing too late that you could have done a lot more in school. The good news for you is you're only a Junior in high school. You have next year to catch up and really work at it to get a higher GPA/scores/better classes, talk to your counselor about things you can do to get ahead. When I was in school I had a 2.0 average up until Senior year when I had my "OH CRAP" moment and kicked it up to a 3.0 average. Like your history class, I had huge issues with math, then I had the one teacher that really clicked with me and I was able to go to her in later classes to help with homework and understanding different concepts.

High school is there to help you figure out where you want to go with your life, you're supposed to make mistakes as far as classes and grades, because then you learn what really works for you and you can figure out what you want to do once high school is over (it comes so fast!). Don't rush yourself into college or feel obligated, I regret going further than an associates degree (2 years), was just a waste of money. Even then I was still figuring out what I wanted to do with my life (OK I'm 26 and I still don't know outside of to be rich)

As for the social stuff... oof. I think back (and look back at my facebook memories) and remember the idiot things I did in middle school and high school. I was the weird horse girl, naturally. The kids that really bothered me got sick of it after a while, I think I pushed one and/or fought someone and got into the scene with the rough kids for a bit. But they never bothered me much. As far as the stuffed animals, I had a friend through high school and he only wore cargo shorts and had so much random stuff in his pockets at all times up until he graduated, got some flack for that (some joker thought he could push the rumor that he had a "Kill list") but he just kept bringing his little toys or glass paper weights or stuffed animals in his pockets.

Just be who you are, don't think that the way you act now will affect your future or what other awkward kids think matters. Also, dating in high school is lame and I would not recommend. Don't worry what your friend said about you, any guy that's deterred by that isn't worth your time.

Wolvevenfrosst · Nov 28, 2018 1:41 AM

EasternShowBarn love is a very complicated and a complex thing. Some go through many relationships and never find the one while others who have done the same thing find someone. Others find the one and only first time. Luck or not, ready or not. Only time will tell if your meant for it or not. Relationships in school really aren't the best tbh. Sure it goes well and some, like my brother, find their childhood sweethearts and marry them. But, it's best to wait in my opinion. Me? I'm 16; never once had a boyfriend, been kissed, or given a kiss, never had sex. I don't find it worth it all the love and heartbreak and the little or big fights. No over who I want to be. My future life that I want to have? I want to be an all type professional vet who owns the world's biggest no-kill shelters for all animals and own my very own vet business. With that kind of life I'm thinking of giving myself I have no room for (to me) pathetic relationships. I've found a long time ago that becoming a vet is harder than becoming a doctor. And that you need at least (what I've been told) 4.0 to do this. And I know I'm below a three with how life's going. But, when I was 15 I lost my father to lung cancer...he always made sure that my grades were kept high or decently acceptable. With him I did good cause he always had a way if getting the best of me when I needed it most, nobody else could do what he did. I've always and will always be a daddy's girl, but because of this its taken its toll. With him gone, things have never been the same and family didn't help either. We lost our house thanks to family. Life sucks and every day is a silent struggle as I don't want my mom to know as it'll destroy her and just make things worse with family trying to take me away. And school, oh school. I know I need to pull it together and get back on track with school but...huh. I've failed freshman year twice; first being my dad died, the second being homeschooled. Homeschooled! I'm disappointed in myself. I can't find it in me anymore to do the work cause it doesn't mean that much if I can't show him and see how proud he is..... school doesn't mean the same for me anymore even though I yell at myself in my head to stop being lazy and to pull myself together. I know I'm capable, I know I'm smart, I know that if I put my mind to it I can do it. I've been told these things by many too many times to count and I know that there all true. It's just...what do I do? With him gone, who am I to show and go fishing, camping, hiking, go on road trips and to keep the family together. Yes I can show my mom and she'll be proud, but it's not the same. I don't understand. I have nothing to show or prove worthy without him by my side. He meant way too much to me. I know, that when I'm older I'm going to look back and think, "goss girl, what a fool you were" "you could have easily done it, but you didn't" "look at how you made your future what it shouldn't have been". Sometimes I wonder, if I will ever heal without him. Not fully I know, nobody ever does, unless they didn't actually love them. Before I rant anymore, point is, we ALL make mistakes. It's what being human is. Nobody's perfect or has the perfect life. It might seem like they do but they've all gone through bad and horrible times. We've all have our embarrassing moments that we later regret. But, we shouldn't be embarrassed or hate our mistakes. We should embrace them, because we learn from them. Our mistakes and embarrassments are the best kind of teacher. Your stuffed animals? Tell that as a funny story and make people laugh. It'll be a relief to you and open them up to something embarrassing they've done. Your relationships? If you think your not ready then your not ready. Give yourself time and you'll see if it's right for you or not. Your grade's? Trust me I share the same thing. The past is the past, what matters is how you use the future to fix it. Share one another's mistakes and learn without having to go through it yourself. You know what, we should do that. Make a thread on mistakes and embarrassing moments in life. To help and talk about it with people and give advice cause really, don't we all need it. That'll be a great way to find comfort and relief while making great new friends to help you and them along the way. I hope that'll be the case. Cause in reality, we all need help, some way or another.

Wolvevenfrosst · Nov 28, 2018 1:42 AM

Man I can sure rant... didn't even realize it was that long. Oh well.

EasternShowBarn · Nov 28, 2018 1:43 AM

@Mittens I’m not even sure what my GPA is but I’m going to take a guess and say it’s around a mid 2 so maybe I can bring it up the red of this year and next.

I don’t think I’ve ever done anything really idiotic in school other than force myself to be late. I’m really a good student other than homework. This year some teachers would say I’m quiet but a really good student there are a couple I can’t stand that I’m kinda pushy and sarcastic with and one is not very fond of me just because I’m pushy and sarcastic and he doesn’t like it, haha! That one is the history teacher this year whom I am not fond of.

I don’t think I’m to the point yet where I can say I know who I am, yet. Also I haven’t really planned on dating in high school, the only thing I really want is someone to go to prom with, as a friend or a date but just so I don’t sit in the corner on my phone...

EasternShowBarn · Nov 28, 2018 1:58 AM

@Wolvevenfrosst oh my, I’m so sorry to hear about your father... He sounded like an amazing person.

I agree, we all need help. I feel the same way looking back on myself. I know I could have done it but I didn’t.

Mittens · Nov 28, 2018 2:12 AM

Re: Prom, I went the first year with my then boyfriend (this is how I know dating in high school is usually not good) and the next year alone, and let me tell you... I had WAY more fun going alone than with a date. So much less to worry about and just me and my friends or phone or whatever. I actually made friends going to dances alone because I could join in with dance groups or with others that knew the songs and were belting out (I sing poorly but no one can hear over loud base). Just have fun! And prom is months off, plenty of time to find someone to go with as friends or not.

Wolvevenfrosst · Nov 28, 2018 2:21 AM

Yes he was...the best I knew but of course he was my father so that's to be expected. As with relationships in school, like I said. Just wait, for me having to worry about someone else's love and feelings for me and him is just a waste of time and blocks you out if so many things in life and limits you in a way because you have to think of them. In school people can be very easily offended or the main thing, jealous. Just my opinion, but it's a waste.

EasternShowBarn · Nov 28, 2018 2:25 AM

@mittens school dances are just pleases I go to sit next to the speaker a feel the music in the floor and walls when nobody I know is there... I’ve never made a friend at a dance, they are really fun with people you know though.

EasternShowBarn · Nov 28, 2018 2:27 AM

@Wolvevenfrosst definitely gonna wait since I know nothing will happen for a while anyway! Waiting seems like the most logical thing now.

Wolvevenfrosst · Nov 28, 2018 2:28 AM

It really is. Patience is key remember that. It'll get you so many good things in life.

HTRanch · Nov 28, 2018 5:57 AM

It sounds like you are learning a lot about yourself. It's so freeing to find out you are totally capable of stretching yourself! I resonate with most humans in that I did a lot of things in high school (and my earlier college years) that make me want to melt into the floor and disappear when I think about them! And honestly, when I look back on my life now, I'll probably think the same thing... live and learn, I guess. But some adults (ok, adultier adults!) I respect gave me some wise advice this week - ˆdon't let anyone else define you.ˆ You are who you are - you don't have to fit into a box because you were never designed to. Fly, be free, and go be the smart capable human that you know you are!

And about the stuffed animals... I'm an upperclassman in college. I drive my own car and work my own job and buy my own groceries... and I have a little plushie horse keychain on my bag. His name is Thunder. He is my backpack buddy. And I love him dearly. Go chase those unicorns and rainbows!

EasternShowBarn · Nov 28, 2018 4:51 PM

@HTRanch I really wish I knew more about myself. I really just want to melt into the floor every day mostly because I get nervous about things and I want to disappear. I walk out of lunch 4/5 days of the week in school cause I’d rather be alone at my locker reading a book than be alone in lunch while everyone passes me. I’m not motivated to do things because other people do or want anything, it’s my own motivation that got me through history last year and it’s my own ambition to do everything good this year. I usually don’t care what other people think, it’s more what I think. I don’t speak out in class because, even though I know I won’t get judged, I don’t like telling people wrong answers in fear that I’ll mess them up.

ConfluenceFarms · Nov 28, 2018 5:42 PM

I am 57 and I have all SORTS of stuffed animals. I still, even, sleep with them occasionally (although the live critters seem to take up more room!). I have been known to show up at meetings at work with a small stuffed animal or two!

EasternShowBarn · Nov 28, 2018 6:23 PM

@ConfluenceFarms I have a stuffed polar bear on my bed because he matched my bed set and I have a giant lizard my mom made me on the floor in the corner of my room but other than that I only have a few small things I can’t let go because either my dad or my sister game them to me. I’ve pretty much gave everything else to my other sister because my room was way to small for so many things. I had a stuffed bumble bee bear on my bag last year but that broke...

HTRanch · Nov 28, 2018 6:38 PM

I am secretly a perfectionist, and I have had to learn to be ok with messing up. It is ok to forgive yourself! I've started to think about it this way: If my best friend made the mistake I just made, would I treat them the way I'm treating myself? My goal is to treat everyone with kindness, whatever their actions, and I've had to learn that that kindness extends to myself, too!

AHayesHorses · Nov 28, 2018 9:35 PM

i brought beanie babies and stuffed animals to school ALL the time! I did it in highschool once because my best friend got me a beanie baby hippo and so i carried it around to all my classes that day. My first class was band and my instructor thought it was funny that i had it draped over my music stand so he asked me if it had a visitors pass. lol I made one up on the spot and tied it around his neck and took it to all my classes, letting it just sit out on my desk/table. My teachers would laugh and i didn't care what the other kids thought. I was having a great time with my hippo friend :) I still sleep with a bed full of stuffed animals at 21 years old and get SUPER excited to get them as gifts! You be you! AS for academics, try to find yourself a tutor! We had students in school that were part of the National Honors Society and they were expected to hold tutoring sessions. I was in NHS (i never actually tutored anyone because i didn't like talking to people lol) and the other students were really helpful. I wish i would have sucked up my pride and gotten a tutor in college because i failed my biology final exam which made me fail the class and i literally was supposed to walk at graduation the next week! By failing the class i lost the credit i needed to get my degree. I balled harder than i think i ever have. Called my parents and then emailed my teacher who very graciously let me retake it and i ended up passing with an 80% :) All of us here in the HAJ community are here to help and support you whenever you need it! You'll get through all this!

EasternShowBarn · Nov 28, 2018 11:34 PM

@HTRanch I am as well. I may just take that advise!

EasternShowBarn · Nov 29, 2018 12:24 AM

@AHayesHorses that’s kinda cute! I brought my polar bear with me once because we had a pajama day in highschool. I have thought about getting a tutor but never really knew where to look, although if I get enough motivation I can usually do amazing on all my homework assignments it’s just I don’t get motivation very often, haha!

SandycreekFarm · Nov 29, 2018 12:44 AM

I was lucky enough to have a pretty stress-free youth (back in the 50's and 60's) and a wonderful family, so I may not be the best person to join in this discussion. But---

My daughter and I use a lot of Salada tea in this house, and enjoy reading the sayings on the tea tags that brand is famous for. Just yesterday I noticed one that had a quotation from Michael Jordan. "I've failed over and over again in my life. That's why I succeed." By which I think he meant that when he failed at something, he used that experience to improve his performance the next time, to learn what not to do, perhaps, or to learn where he needed to work harder until he became successful.

So, for what it's worth--try to look at the things that haven't gone well for you, the times when you messed up, and look for something to remember not to do, or for something that you might have done differently so that you can try that the next time you're in a similar situation.

I'll share one of my "oops" moments, in hopes that it will make you laugh, as it always does me.

I used to spend my summers on my uncle's dairy farm, working and playing with my cousins. Most of us were pretty close in age, but my aunt and uncle had three younger children who were a long way behind the rest of us. One of them, Eugene, when he was about 3, couldn't say my name, Melody right. It came out "Mudedy." His older sister, who was a year younger than I, began calling me "Mud," which didn't bother me too much, since I'd never really had a nickname. When I got back home to the city, I told a couple of my high school friends, who, of course, immediately began to call me Mud" too. So, throughout my last years in high school, my name was, literally, Mud. :D

A few friends now call me Mel sometimes, but I still don't really have a nickname that's in common use.

EasternShowBarn · Nov 29, 2018 12:49 AM

@SandyCreekFarm I have learned from my mistakes and plan to continue to learn from my mistakes, I just needed to get some stuff off my mind, the stuff I had been thinking about for a while and couldn’t tell anyone as I had nobody to tell.
I too had/have a nickname! My family calls me Nana. They call me this because my middle name is Rose and my mother used to call me Rosanna Bananna and Nana just stuck. By everyone else I am called by my full first name.

Wolvevenfrosst · Nov 29, 2018 3:32 AM

Only me or...does anyone else have the nickname Buggies?

Bandit1119 · Nov 29, 2018 5:19 AM

My friend and her family call her oldest Bug. Bug and I have the same name and when my friend brought her daughters down to visit me Bug asked where they were going and she was told they were going to visit her friend Brittany. Bug said were going to visit Me!? And has continued to call me Me.

Wolvevenfrosst · Nov 29, 2018 5:58 AM

XD lol!

Summervine · Nov 29, 2018 7:10 AM

@EasternShowBarn I know it doesn't feel like it now, and I know other kids probably don't understand it either, but it's ok to be childish in elementary school, because you ARE a child at that age! And listen, I'm 40, and I still have a giant box of stuffed animals :D Never let anyone tell you you aren't allowed to love something. And when you are ready to let any particular thing go, you will know, but it's ok if you never do, also!

The secret of being a "grown up" just means feeling how life is hard sometimes. There is no magic moment where you suddenly aren't a kid, and you'll never not be you. You'll change, you'll grow, you'll learn new things and discard the stuff that doesn't work for you anymore, but you'll always feel like the you that you are right now (just maybe with some different opinions, depending haha). And, more importantly, the most useful and important thing you'll ever do is make mistakes, because that is how you (and all of life) actually learn. Messing up is never a character flaw, and the only thing that will set you back is not picking yourself back up again.

Hope that wasn't too much of a derail or too patronizing! I remember quite well feeling so much of what you described, and I hope you can feel a little bit of support from an old telling you that life just gets richer the more of it you've had. :)

EasternShowBarn · Nov 30, 2018 8:42 PM

@Summervine oh how I wish some people would stop being so childish sometimes... I do completely understand that it’s okay to be childish. I wish to do so much more that I love and I hopefully will soon! I’m going to start running about 2 miles every few days hopefully this week (mostly because my mother says she doesn’t think I will) and I’m going to start track in the spring (again cause my mother says she doesn’t think I will...) and I’m going out to ride my horse in an hour or so!

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