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HTRanch · Jul 17, 2018 2:17 AM

My heart just about expired when I saw this girl! I don't think I could do her cute little exceptional producing fanny justice in my program, so I'd like to give her away to someone who can. Please share your player id, your breeding goal(s), and tell me a joke. It could be a pun, a knock-knock joke, or a funny story from real life. Put a little more happy in the world! Close TBD depending on interest :)

1 2536805

EasternShowBarn · Jul 17, 2018 2:27 AM

She is almost exactly what I breed for! 19225

My favourite pun ever is; There once was a guy who lost the left side of his body. He’s alright now.

RedDeeFarms · Jul 17, 2018 2:43 AM

24375 - Oh my oh my! I breed for black livers with kp, snf, sb2, and will be introducing kitm and w3 soon!

What's the difference between the bird flu and swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment

HollowbetheInk · Jul 17, 2018 3:00 AM

Be still my heart.

At 45140 I breed chestnut appys with as much i8, mushroom, and darkness as I can find.

What does a fish say before it runs into a cement wall?

Dam!

AshaRainwillow · Jul 17, 2018 3:19 AM

She would be perfect for my mushroom stud

Mushroom Paradise I am working on breeding black and white horses.

The other day while working a craft project my 17 lbs Maine Coon kitty managed to snuggle himself into the far to small bucket that some of the project was in. I wish I had gotten a picture but as soon I as I noticed I laughed at my boy. He immediately jumped up with bucket stuck to him for a second.

duelinghawks · Jul 17, 2018 3:55 AM

After joining HJ2 in early February this year, my initial breeding goal was splash appaloosas (aka Splappy's) and blue (roan)appaloosas. This was still the time most Rank Specials weren't common in the daily HH list and as such were worth much more. I begged, borrowed and stole (not really...except for the begging part) and managed to buy a couple Catch a Blue Moon studs for big time hbs, which I promptly bred to any and everything with four legs, and maybe a few with three. The results were fairly lackluster and most of my precious brood were snipped. My beautiful show ponies were then dubbed "Bloopaloosas" meaning they were blue-paloosas that were bloopers. After much toil and heartache, I found a new addiction...liver. At first I didn't know what all the fuss was about and why everyone was clamoring over them--reddish brown was SO booooooooring. And then, I saw her...HER! The most elegant pixel creature I had ever laid eyes on across a crowded forum sale room...a dappled black liver Freaky Friday riding horse mare. She was sheer perfection with her doe-like eyes and graceful delicate curves--but that color was fine, bittersweet, dark chocolate decadence. I purchased her as quickly as my tapping fingers could manage, and a MUHWAAAHAAAHAAHAA welled up deep within me. My little darkling princess was now my prized possession and sole the inspiration for my Darkness Line--the primordial struggle between the darkness and the light...one cannot exist without the other. Hence, I breed for black livers with unique white patterns, of exceptional breeding and showing quality. Side note: I once got into an epic bidding war with ColourWorld on a forum auction for a similar foundation mare where seconds before the clock ran out, I had managed to bid an unfathomable hjb amount that my brain said "wth" to, and my heart said "u got this gurl"...to which ColourWorld replied with an angry red-faced emojii with ears blowing steam. Needless to say when the smoke cleared, @ColourWorld took that sweet babygirl home that day, as she had much, much, MUCH deeper stack of poker chips and called my bluff. From that day forward, I have gone on binge create sprees with Dark Chestnut, Sooty Flaxen Chestnut, and just about any other red-based Herd Helper to try and hit that magical lotto...not the one with the million hbs but the one with that elusive black liver foundie. It did actually happen once--and she got snipped. Maybe...just maybe, my luck will one day change ;-) ♡
The one that started it all...

Too Sootylicious For You

SquishLime · Jul 17, 2018 5:14 AM

Oh wow she’s absolutely stunning, I’d be over the moon if I created a foundation like that! I’ll think of a funny story then I’ll be back ;)

HollowbetheInk · Jul 17, 2018 6:54 AM

This lucky lady is just as beautiful as a girl could ask for. I can so relate.

DC 2501711 Liv

SquishLime · Jul 17, 2018 7:29 AM

My ID is 46540 (took awhile for me to remember that one but I soon realised how much we use ID numbers here).
I began playing HJ2 in April of this year and similarly to @duelinghawks I didn’t get the fuss around liver and DP at first. What’s the point in breeding for a gene you can’t test for? But then I discovered chocolate palominos and I’ve been obsessed ever since. My goal is to produce a line of drafts with DP + roan, dun, sabino, pearl and all those patterns that are pretty to look at.
I’ve got a terrible sense of humour. I come out with the stupidest puns that make my family groan. So I’ll give you a few of my favourite bad jokes...

*Knock knock*
Who’s there?
Europe
Europe who?
No you’re a poo!

A cheese sandwich walks into a bar and orders a lemonade. The barman says “sorry, we don’t serve food here” :-))

Unfortunately my best funny stories from my life aren’t entirely PG rated so I can’t post any of them here. I will however tell you about the day I was cleaning cabins at work, overlooking the farmland and the wedding venue down below.
I sat out on the deck to eat my lunch and gazed out over the paddocks and the cows grazing happily. I noticed the black bull was lying by himself away from the cows. I observed him for a few minutes and an uneasy feeling formed in my stomach. Cattle need to burp to release gases from their rumen but this bull was lying flat rather than sitting up. I took out my phone and dialled my boss. When she answered I said “Kathy I’m sorry to tell you but your bull is dead”.
She said that was a shame but these things happen.. she asked if I could see what might have caused it. I offered to go down and have a look to see if he was perhaps just sick. “At least if he’s dead, he’s lying right next to the bonfire pile which should make it easy to cremate him. Yeah he’s definitely gone, he even looks bloated and there’s a bird sitting on him”.
My boss tried to reassure me that it’s just the circle of life and there was no point going to check on him. We said goodbye and got off the phone. At that precise moment, the black bull sat up with not a care in the world, the bird flew away and I felt like the biggest idiot for making such a big deal of an animal taking a nap L-)
I called my boss back and apologised profusely for scaring her. I still feel dumb but my family thought it was hilarious when I told them. This was a few weeks ago and I can assure the bull is still fit as a fiddle. I won’t be making that mistake again! [-X

TallTree · Jul 17, 2018 8:29 AM

WhiteMountain, 46758.
I breed for sooty brown and bay with dp, black silver chinchilla, and liver with machiatto, so she would work for all those!
I used to work in a research lab, so we had a lot of geeky jokes. My favorite was:
During the French revolution, the rebellious mob was working their way through the royal household, beheading each member of the king's staff on the guillotine. Finally, they got to the Royal Engineer. They put him on the guillotine and dropped the blade, but stopped halfway down. Confused, they tried it again. Same result. A woman in the crowd yelled "He must be innocent and a good person! God must be protecting him!" Other people in the crowd began to agree, and began to shout to let the engineer go.
During the lull, the engineer had time to look closely at the guillotine, pondrring why it wasn't working properly. After a few moments, excited by his discovery, he yelled out "Wait! I see the problem!"

CWScowgirl87 · Jul 17, 2018 9:45 AM

Goodness! She's amazing!
ID is 16853
My dad's best friend growing up became a lawyer as an adult, and recently I found some old emails from the early 2000's between my dad and him. He and his lawyer friends had quite a few good jokes to go around. My favorite:
A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days.”
The priest replies, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God.”
The rabbi continues, “And look at this. Here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then he hands the bottle to the priest.
The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.
The priest asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The rabbi replies, “No… I think I’ll just wait for the police.”

HTRanch · Jul 17, 2018 1:15 PM

Oh man, you guys, these are all pretty good. *** This will end Wednesday at 11:59 pm game time *** to give people from different time zones a chance to enter.

The other day at work, a woman approached me at the register and anxiously informed me that she had found a dead mouse on her rug as well as a sickly juvenile. "What should I do about it?" she asked. I told her she probably had an infestation and pointed her to the aisle with the mouse repellents and traps. A few minutes later, she stormed angrily back to me, highly offended that I had sent her to that aisle when apparently all she wanted to do was save this mouse (Oh, the joys of retail). I helped her find kitten formula and tiny bottles and everything, and then asked her if she had a way to keep the mouse warm, maybe with a nest made out of rags.

Woman: "Oh, that makes sense, that's what they do in the wild, right? I didn't think of that so I just popped it in the microwave for a few seconds. Do you think it will be warm enough?"

You can't make this stuff up, folks.

HunterUnderSaddleGirl · Jul 17, 2018 1:24 PM

15552

I like combining as many of my favorite colors as possible. I like to make the horse as crazy looking as possible. But I love all dark horses so DP is a pretty important part of my program. Most of my GMTed horses are freaky friday just so I can have the DP. Some of my favorites are Liver chestnut with flaxen. Then DARK silver bay. So Ideally double DP double Sooty with bay and silver. I also love the "cherry drop" look with DP on wild bay. I don't have many dark brown horses but those are cool too. I love the solid dark liver chestnuts but lately I've been trying to add an extra something to them as well. Like appaloosa or tobiano. Or I get lucky kitm or w8.

A blonde is just about to receive her pizza when the pizza man asks if she wants it in 8 or 10 slices. She says "oh 8 please I can't eat 10 slices today"

HTRanch · Jul 18, 2018 12:16 AM

Still just over 24 hours left to enter! Let the hilarity continue!

HTRanch · Jul 19, 2018 1:10 AM

This ends at midnight!

Lallyhop · Jul 19, 2018 1:25 AM

ID 45703
My breeding goal (well, one of them) - I’m trying to combine liver with snowflake to breed minimal appy, low WF snowflake on black liver. Basically, it would look something like this but all black and dark brown, because I love the low white snowy look on dark colors :x

4S SA SnowLion

Snowy Knight is my gorgeous foundie who would love a date with your lady - and he’s almost perfect if not for wanting his butt spots a little bit smaller.

My Snowy Knight

The joke:

There once was a man whose lucky number was five. He was born on the fifth day of the fifth month, in 1955, at 5:55 pm.

Well, on his 55th birthday, he went to the races. When he got there, he realized that in the fifth race of the day, which was running at five o' clock, there was a horse named Pentagon, who was number 5. Furthermore, the odds were 55 to 1 on this horse. The man quickly checked his bank account, and saw that his current balance was $5,555.55. He withdrew everything and bet it on the horse.

The horse, of course, came in fifth.

HTRanch · Jul 19, 2018 1:55 AM

I apparently have the luck of a Las Vegas hustler, so there is now a second prize for a second winner!

1 2551182

HTRanch · Jul 19, 2018 11:45 AM

I used a random number generator to draw two winners, and they are:

@CWSCowgirl87 has won 1R Blackheart
@EasternShowBarn has won 1Y Crazy Kitty

Your horses will be up for you in the Gift Giving chat.

Thank you everyone! These gave me a giggle and really brightened my day!

CWScowgirl87 · Jul 19, 2018 12:03 PM

Wow - thank you so much :x And to think I almost didn't enter, but I wanted to share the joke :))

SquishLime · Jul 19, 2018 12:03 PM

Congrats guys and thanks for the chuckles

EasternShowBarn · Jul 19, 2018 1:36 PM

Yay! Thank you so much! When and where would you like me to pick her up at?

WhiteMountain · Jul 19, 2018 2:21 PM

Congrats, all! Lallyhop - loved the horse racing joke!

HTRanch · Jul 19, 2018 3:47 PM

@EasternShowBarn - she is in the gift giving chat.

EasternShowBarn · Jul 19, 2018 3:52 PM

Oh sorry didn’t see that part... Will go get her now :)

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