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SterlingSilverEq · Feb 20, 2017 10:37 PM

Blah. Okay. So, I've been hemming and hawing about posting anything, because generally I try not to complain on the internet about... anything, really. BUT! Since none of you lovely citizens of HaJ know me irl (probably, hopefully) I've decided I'd like to vent a bit. I think even if no one responds, it will feel good to write this stuff down, and I can't find my journal. ~~Dang nabbit.~~

Anyways.

I am a college student in an equine program. I am also a transfer and am roughly 4 years older than the other students in my grade. Long story short - I went to art school, got 3/4 of the way through an illustration degree, realized 'Oh, whoops, this is not for me', took two years off to work in the equine industry and take a few classes at a local community college and am now I am enrolled full-time at a wonderful university and working towards a BS in equine management with plans to go on to get my master's degree in a related (equine) field. I love the university I'm at now, I've learned so much especially in my riding and training and equine health.

The tricky parts are these:

I kind of suck at school. Not in a 'I try my best and get Ds anyways' kinda way but in a 'WHY can I not control my brain?! What is even happening up there, why are you thinking about non-Newtonian fluids instead of reading the textbook you should be?!' kind of way. When I DO wrestle my brain into submission and get the work done, I always pull good grades, I care immensely about the work I'm doing and I respect every single one of my teachers SO MUCH and I don't want to disappoint them... But I'm just so weirdly touch-and-go with when I can get myself to work and when I can't. I'm sure at least a couple of you on here can relate.

I went ahead and got myself a boyfriend. Completely accidental, mind you. I'm new to this area and like I mentioned before I'm older than most of the people I interact with on a daily basis. Humans being social creatures and me being... sort of weird... I decided that instead of making friends like a normal person, I'd just get a tinder and go on a bunch of awkward first dates/weird hook ups in order to feel like I was having meaningful interactions with animals from the same species that I am. So there I was, meeting MANY... um... *quirky* people and then I stumble on this total gem of a guy with black hair that falls in his (truly spectacular, very dark brown) eyes in these really awesome loose curls and... *hem hem* I won't bore you with the details but suffice to say - I left school for winter break single and fearing for the future of mankind... Came back head over heels and utterly distracted from the very important and already tricky for me and my wacked-out brain work of out-of-class assigments.

It seems stupid to let something like a BOY of all things distract me from what is literally a life-long dream for me, but I'm so... infatuated, I guess. Ugh. Anyways. Thanks so much for letting me get that out. Feel free to commiserate or offer advice.

Cheers and Happy Horsing!

Sterling <3

AHayesHorses · Feb 21, 2017 5:41 AM

I am enrolled in an equine studies program at college too! This is my last semester before I graduate with my Associates. And I can sympathize. Although I have the potential to be a good student, I have ADD really badly and therefore it is hard for me to focus on what i'm doing and then that frustrates me to the point that I don't want to do anything... A little counterintuitive, I know. (And I don't have the boyfriend problem so you're on your own there). The advice I can give is this: Set a schedule and write EVERYTHING down. Lists are life savers! Make a list for the week of what you want to accomplish and work on stuff for set periods of time before you take a break and do something else. And also, find someone you can work with if you can. I find getting others to help makes a huge difference in the way I learn. Although you may have a ton more college experience than me, I can say that the equine track does get better when you think about what you're working towards. I remind myself all the time that I don't want to go through my instructor certification without my degree and what was the point of going to school 9 hours away from home if I don't get it? But like I said, lists are amazing! And if you ever need anything, i'm fairly certain anyone here can help you out! Good luck!

SterlingSilverEq · Feb 21, 2017 6:21 AM

Yay Equine Academics!!

You totally get it! I have ADHD too! I was diagnosed way back in 2005 or so, and I've never really known what to do with that information...? I should probably talk to a professional, honestly. It really makes normal things surprisingly difficult.

And plus there is that super weird perfectionism that so many of us have. Where we want to do a good job on EVERYTHING RIGHT AWAY and end up getting overwhelmed and doing nothing? That sucks. Does that happen to you?

ObsidianKitsune · Feb 21, 2017 6:43 AM

I had really bad ADHD, been diagnosed since I was a toddler. This was back in the day when the solution was just giving out drugs, however my mum didn't want to do that. Instead I have controlled it through diet and self will which, while it doesn't work all the time, does help me.

Doing the list thing like AHayesHorses suggested is also a good thing. If you really want to get something done, limit your relaxing time or completely remove it for when you get back home from course.

Maybe having something to fiddle with will help, like a stress ball or even just a pen. It'll help decrease your energy levels, which should also stop your mind from wandering.

In the diet that I mentioned, I avoid all artificial colours. Until these last 5 years the only flavours of ice-cream that I ate was vanilla, chocolate, cookies and cream and hokey pokey. And even then I had to watch some brands closely! There is a list of artificial colours and the natural ones online, if you can find a good chart. I just remember "all C's are caramel and natural, and 160a is a-okay!". I can get a pretty bad stomach cramp if I eat too much artificial colours, so even though I have my ADHD under control I still have to be wary about my diet from time to time...

best friend · Feb 21, 2017 8:02 AM

I have two boys with ADHD and they both are on adderol. It has helped a great deal. I have it as well and find that chores are hard for me to do because I am all over the place. With you being in college do you take any meds for your ADHD? If not I think you should. I know for my oldest his meds make a world of difference. He goes from a C D student to an A B student on his meds. I would make lists of what you want to accomplish.

Foxx · Feb 21, 2017 9:17 AM

My mom had a focus problem in nursing school. She had to make jingles and write poems and sing songs to make it easier to remember and more fun which made it easier to focus. As for boys, best advice, stay honest with yourself and him, but don't lose your head over your heart. Your head and that dream you have are what's gonna get you to that semi-stable(because life is never completely stable) point when you stop and realize you made it.

Denalidom · Feb 21, 2017 9:30 AM

Totally get it! College classes + boyfriend + attention problems - you could be writing about me for parts of that (except my guy has gray/blue eyes and dirty blond hair). Then he had to off and transfer out of state, which has its pros and cons in regards to my academic life. What classes are you in?

SterlingSilverEq · Feb 21, 2017 10:56 AM

You guys! It means so much to me that you all took the time to respond, thank you.

ObsidianKitsune - Thats interesting about the diet, what is it about artificial dyes that effect the ADHD? Those might not be too hard for me to cut out....

Best Friend - I'm on a very low dose antidepressant (thats a whole other story, haha) but maybe I should talk to my doctor about switching that or adding something in... hmm!

Foxx - I told him I was struggling and he was concerned and expressed an interest in trying to make things go smoother for me, which is a goo sign! That last sentence made me smile, I can't wait to look around and realize that

Denalidom - Ooooh, yeah, that transfer must really suck, hopefully theres some silver lining there with having more time to do hw? My classes are as follows, I'll include the course description too just for fun! :)

* Basic Schooling: This class offers an introduction to classical schooling theory. At this level emphasis will shift to influencing the horse. Concepts of contact, bending, and improving the horse's balance will be the primary focus, with students becoming acquainted with rhythm, suppleness, impulsion, and riding the horse from leg to hand. By semester's end, students should be able to maintain a consistent frame, thereby improving the horse's way of going.

* Intro to Equine Science: This introductory level course covers the history and use of the horse along with the history of equitation. Students will study various equestrian disciplines and breeds with respect to their history, governing organizations, celebrated individuals, and current popularity. The class will examine the state of the horse industry today and trends to expect in the future. Additionally, the course will provide an overview of horse psychology, conformation and movement, functional anatomy, and genetics.

* Equine Health Management: The common infectious and non-infectious equine diseases, parasitism, lameness, and first aid are discussed in detail. Emphasis is placed on detection and early treatment of equine ailments.

*Equine Massage & Therapy: Material will be presented on massage techniques and applicable muscle physiology. Students will gain an understanding of equine anatomy, learn how to perceive reactive areas, plan remedial work, and practice various massage techniques on horses in the Equestrian Center. Adjunctive therapies will be introduced

* Equine Anatomy & Physiology: This course is designed to acquaint the student with the anatomy and physiology of the horse. Special emphasis is placed on the anatomical and physiological conditions of the performance horse.

Foxx · Feb 21, 2017 12:06 PM

Sounds like your just nervous. You have your priorities in order stick to it til you decide to change something. Never forget you gotta be happy before you can make other people happy. Take care of you first and everything else will fall into place with hard work.

AHayesHorses · Feb 21, 2017 5:53 PM

@SterlingSilverEq I always get overwhelmed and give up :( But the school horses are so forgiving :) And talking through things with someone really does help. I have sat down with my Equine Studies director/advisor/teacher and talked things out with her. What makes talking to her better is that she's a social worker and therapeutic riding instructor among many other things so she can sympathize with me and help me through things. And since my school is also a PATH accredited therapeutic riding center, I can spend time with the therapy horses whenever I need to release stress. Even the school horses we use for our riding classes are such great therapists. But whenever you need to work on something, only work on one thing for about 15 minutes and then take a break and get up and do something. Then come back and work on something else and so on. It'll help you get more things done but you won't have to stress over one thing for so long because your brain will be occupied. :)

Salvistar · Feb 21, 2017 7:50 PM

Just wanted to say I hope things work out with the cute boy. He sounds nice. :). I have been married for five years now and your post took me back to our "twitter pated" dating days.

I had a school teacher who was very wise and said that everyone's schoolwork suffers when they are dating, but then you get married and your grades improve. Lol. We got married after only one school year of dating so I guess we rushed through that hard part. Good luck balancing!

ObsidianKitsune · Feb 21, 2017 8:03 PM

I don't know what it is about those artificial colours that affects ADHD, but cutting them out I find does help. It's also a LOT easier to do nowadays. Like I mentioned before about the ice-creams, I can now eat ANY flavour I want, so long as it is NZ's most popular ice-cream brand! They did a huge commercial about it when I was nearing the end of high school and because me and my brother are both ADHD (I had it worse than him) I excitedly told my mum, and she promptly took us to the supermarket where we picked out any flavour we wanted (it was goody goody gumdrops).

Nowadays there is a lot of awareness about what is artificial, since many people see them as "bad". There is even a lot of packages that say "No artificial colours, preservatives and flavouring!" on them, which is usually the ones I go for. But due to that, finding a good list of the ones to avoid or the ones to stay with online is hard to do....

SterlingSilverEq · Feb 24, 2017 9:28 PM

Thanks everyone!! I'm feeling a little better now, he and I talked, and I hink I'll have an easier time balancing now without worrying Im hurting his feelings :)

I also talked to my doctor about changing up my meds as well as lifestyle stuff to help me out! Im really excited for a new start!!! Thanks so much for helping me to not feel so alone, I soooo appreciate it!

best friend · Feb 24, 2017 10:30 PM

You are quite welcome. Glad that everyting is looking better now. :\">

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